Week three and four of lockdown. Don't overthink about what you can't control.

Easter was good, peace and quiet, no builders working all day in the buildings opposite mine.

The sound of silence the most precious gift.

I even managed to get a Chocolate egg, and fish & chips for Easter, I could not find any roast. It was unusual to have fish & chips on Easter Day, but than I found the roast on Easter Monday, my flatmate was very happy about this. We had a proper meal on Easter Monday. I ate too much chocolate on Monday and I was really sick on Tuesday, so I didn't get any sympathy about that. I am pleased to say I am feeling better this evening.  

With the lockdown we are going through some weird communist experiment, queuing at the supermarkets to get in, being told what to do by the Government without questioning it, empty shelves in some supermarkets with only essentials available!

The Government has now agreed the lockdown will go on for another three weeks. My diary is empty. I think the lockdown will go on for a lot longer than three weeks here.

In these unusual circumstances it's very important to keep doing things that are familiar even if it is a small thing like eating your favourite food with your flatmate, to keep some resemblance of normality and stability.

One of my friends has been feeling depressed watching the amazing houses of people on Instagram; she is stuck in a small shared flat on the other side of London. I told her to watch Slavoj Zizek instead giving interviews on Zoom with his camera on his lap... She laughed..

I said to her best to not compare oneself or your living space with that of others on Instagram, I know it is easily done especially if you spend a lot of time on Instagram. I told her to stop watching some of the people there, all the self centred narcissists on there with supposedly wonderful places, who prepare fantastic meals, they are actually really boring, they are starting all to look kind of the same. I told her to focus on herself: take up a hobby, sign up to a course online, learn a language, spend time online with interesting people with ideas not following some boring narcissists on Instagram. Wake up! Nobody has a perfect life. Look for more interesting people on Instagram, with more quality accounts or ditch it all together if it is make you feel worse about yourself.

Don't compare what you are  going through if your country is in a lockdown with your friends in countries which are not under a lockdown, who are still working outside with others, hugging and kissing, they might not understand what it means practising social distancing, not to be able to visit your friends in person. At times you might feel jealous of your friend who lives in a country that is not in a lockdown (Sweden), or that his/her country have better testing than yours like Germany, and have fewer deaths than your country, or that in their country the Government was more prepared than yours and did more testing and spent more money on hospitals, doctors and nurses than your Government does. This might make you feel angry, it's normal! 

I am mentioning this because a lot of people actually share a flat in London with lots of other people, most of the time strangers not family or a partner and they don't have access to a garden and are on low wages. Not only in their 20's sometimes they are in their 40's and 50's due to high rents and being stuck for years in low paid jobs, especially in the arts. Living in cramped flats, some of them also provide essential services while putting their lives at risk (carers, nursing, customer service, pharmacists etc) to others but they don't seem to have much of a voice in the main stream media and they should be paid a lot more than they are at the moment. Fancy risking your life for the minimum wage? Without them a lot of the self-obsessed narcissists online and the wealthy would not be able to manage anything by themselves, they depend on others in order to be successful. The whole myth that they got to the top by themselves is nonsense, is just a story to sell as part of their PR package.

Some of my friends are surprised when I am not online. I can be off line, not checking anything, also doing nothing at all, relaxing, recharging is really important, not being constantly on the go and showing off to others. Do you have to be on zoom to talk to people? No you don't have to. If that helps you, great; personally I find it intrusive and I don't use it. I am  happy just reading a book or listening to music. I don't need to be endlessly online updating my profile, I mean who cares?Obviously I enjoy communicating with people online when I feel like it.  You will be surprised to find out actually that you can be happy without being digitally connected at all, even in a lockdown, depending on how well you take isolation. But for some  people being on Facebook, chatting on Twitter with others or through WhatsApp is helping them stay sane and connected, it's a personal choice.

I told my friend to look out more for positive news; for example there was an article today saying that autistics & people with learning disabilities are allowed to go out more than once per day which in a way is a good thing for people who are highly hyperactive.

In a lockdown you might focus more on certain things and not always feel positive.  I have been thinking about the fact that people that work in care homes have not been given appropriate gear, protection PPE, when they are working and also front line staff in hospitals have been dying for not having the right protective gear. I have been thinking, instead of all clapping in support of the NHS workers (who are doing an amazing job) the Government should give them the protective gear (PPE) they need in order  to be safe and to work efficiently, and pay them appropriately. Instead of sending them out wearing plastic handkerchiefs.

In a lockdown due to lack of movement and being stuck in the same space for many hours, one tends to overthink things; I was obsessing about the economy collapsing with all businesses being shut, lack of food, which really I can't do anything about. Another day I was obsessing about all of the above obsessive thoughts I have been having, and not to be able to do much in terms of helping.

Another day, my mind was just focusing on the ambulances going up and down the main road, it was challenging.  If this is happening to you as well, your thoughts are creating extra stress, try to distract your mind by doing a workout, or watching a movie, doing something enjoyable or something else that will focus your attention on something more positive.

I was thinking how am I going to manage these high noise levels from the building work? By breaking the day. Have a nice breakfast, do a workout, keep earplugs on, and when the noise is at the highest from building work, which is generally in the afternoon, go for a walk, or listen to music. My favourite time is from 5:30 onwards because all the building work stops then. It's nice and peaceful again. So I try to tell myself that the noise will not last forever, there are things I can do to feel better, that I am not trapped.

Basically focus on what you can do, and not on the things you can't control, like external work, it takes practice and persistence to retrain the brain, one is not successful straightaway, I still have had bad days and good days. I am highly sensitive to external sensory stimuli. But now I am retraining  to work more late at night because it's more quiet and I sleep during the day so I don't hear the noise.

Overall I much prefer being in nature, I feel supported by nature.

I find working out  as well, doing weights, helps clearing the head from too many negative thoughts.

Focusing on nature, the beautiful flowers, the trees, the lovely sunny weather, the clean air and chatting to my friendly neighbours ( at a distance of course). We support each other and that improves my mental wellbeing and theirs.

Repeat to yourself like a mantra. I am grateful I am alive no matter the circumstances, we will get through this like previous generations did before us.

How I am managing the Coronavirus. Week two of lockdown.

It's the second week of lockdown and I have settled in to some sort of routine. I have been supporting isolated elderly friends on the phone, chatting to friends all round the world from Japan to Sweden to Korea. I still miss my friends greatly, not being able to see them has been challenging but we have been keeping in contact regularly which has helped. I am looking forward to Easter,  a nice meal maybe.

Sadly in the last couple of days we have been told the Prime Minister Boris Johnson was admitted to hospital on Sunday, now in intensive care which is worrying; on the other hand Chris Whitty recovered from the Coronavirus, some good news. The speech by the Queen cheered me up. I met her several times and she was always great, friendly, professional. She gave a really good speech, it inspired me especially with Boris being ill and the country edgy. I was worried when Boris said he was still shaking people's hands; I was thinking don't do that, you will catch it. Sadly I was right.

At times I have been feeling very tired, the big change in routine and the unfolding news,  but meditation has helped with this, it changes from day to day. I think it is important also to recognise self care when one is tired, to put boundaries with people  who are overly negative and just drain your energy normally and even more so now. It's ok to say no if you are not feeling 100%. The pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in people. There is a lady who is amazing, she leaves things to pick up outside of her house (obviously you have to pick them up with gloves) I got a couple of really new good classical CD's and she writes inspiring messages for people to pick up, or leaves flowers out. People like her are an asset. Then you get some unfriendly joggers who run all over the place with no sense of social distancing or saying hello, no smile, just miserable, I just ignore them back.

I seem to be more sensitive to things around me. The bees buzzing around, the birds flying, with very few people about, one notices every little thing. The eagle again was flying high in the sky. One good thing about the current situation is fewer cars on the road, the air is a lot cleaner,  rabbits running around which you have never seen before, also I am enjoying the quiet.

The media this weekend have been obsessing about sunbathers due to the sudden warm weather, I feel they are a minority, I have never seen any around. Obviously in higher populated areas where people have no access to gardens and share a flat, people will tend to go out more to the park to cope mentally, maybe more so than those who live in smaller towns or rural areas where they are hardly near anybody and have access to plenty of space.  What the Government should be focusing on is testing more like in Germany where they have had so far a low mortality rate because they have been testing so much. Also I find the advice by the Government that people with fever should self isolate a bit narrow. Some coronavirus patients have not had any fever,  some of them experienced just a cold with no fever at the beginning or aches in the body and extreme tiredness with no fever, pain in their eyes or heavy chest.

In the supermarket it's difficult to find everything you need in one session, some things have completely sold out or there is very little left or you can't carry everything without a car which complicates trips meaning you will have to go more often.

Online all the slots have been taken and there are no slots available to book so I was not able to order anything online. I have not been able to find any tinned tomatoes so I made tomato sauce to use on pasta from fresh tomatoes. Fresh tomatoes are still available luckily. The supermarket and the pharmacy have put up plastic screens at the tills which is good news for people working there to keep them and us safe, I have been worrying about them. They enforced an In & Out going through for people and they only allow a certain number of people inside, which has been very helpful.

I didn't feel as anxious going to the supermarket and the pharmacy since last week there were very few people  inside both of them and I didn't have to queue which was great. 

Obviously I am following Government guidelines generally and I stay 2 metres away from people but there was hardly anybody inside the supermarket, literally three people... Maybe because it is a small supermarket (but there aren't any queues to get in);  it is the large ones where there have been rather long queues.  Some of the things the small supermarket has are the more expensive staff like organic fruit and organic vegetables but they also have low priced non organic vegetables, just not a wide range. I am just happy I can still find fresh fruit & vegetable, yoghurt and nice coffee. During the panic buying I bought some cheap coffee because I could not find the one I usually take and it tasted really awful.

Pasta has suddenly shot up to one pound extra and there wasn't much left but I still managed to get  a bag of it, it will last a while. Same with meat & fish only the expensive staff was left so I didn't take any, I bought tofu instead, chicken is still available at an average price though. One of my friends is ordering everything on Amazon Prime so they are having everything delivered that way, but some other friends told me that only people who have been with them for a while get deliveries quickly, if you sign up now you might not get a delivery with them and with other supermarkets, one elderly friend of mine found out there were no slots available online which was a bit of a problem as they live in the middle of nowhere!

The week has gone quickly; it's amazing how we adapt to changes so quickly, I am sticking to a routine and I find what helps me the most at the moment is working out and keeping in touch with my friends online. I am trying to avoid the news but is not easy, I slipped yesterday and watched the news.

Copyright Mirta Imperatori 2020

How I am managing the Coronavirus. Week one of lockdown.

A fracture happened. Life like it used to be, going out to get your latte, going to work, seeing your friends, travel, doing anything you want but really not noticing all the freedoms you had. And now since waking up to the Coronavirus that's all gone. You can't see your friends, most of the shops are boarded up or they have shut down.  Before, you could buy anything you wanted in the supermarket at any time, now you have to queue while keeping to a two metre distance, only a certain amount of people are allowed in and out of the supermarket, only a few items are available. You can only go out for one walk per day and only for essential shopping. 

Overnight we went from you can do anything and everything you want, to you need to stay at home and do what you are told. If you don't do what you are told the police can fine you and arrest you. A policeman stopped my friend yesterday and asked him where he was going. He replied; I am going to the supermarket to buy some food... While in the street there were several criminals they didn't get stopped. I hope the British police is not turning into the Stasi, England is not turning into Eastern Germany in the 1960's.. Where your neighbour is no longer your friend, but is the person that is spying on you and telling the police how many times you have gone out. With the Coronavirus, hysteria seemed to have kicked in, first shown with massive panic buying and now with people spying on each other. 

How am I managing this massive change?

I just take at day at a time. I meditate regularly, I stick to a regime schedule, I find pulling weights   major stress releaser same with meditation. While the media seem to push their own agenda of complete lockdown, the mental consequences of this on people are not given much thought. If a Government puts in place a long term lockdown it should give clear guidance, rules, put support in place for example by having phone lines open to speak to councillors or someone on a regular basis. No such thing is in place at the moment, people will start experiencing cabin fever and get depressed.

Also there are a lot of people living in substandard accommodation in the Uk where they can't swing a cat around let alone self isolate, a prison cell as a room would be more comfortable.  I stick to a daily routine. 

But I am deeply concerned about abuse of power by the police. I am scared when I am inside the supermarket not to go to close to other people, to stay well clear of them. Going to the supermarket is no longer a pleasurable activity, I just want to get in and get out and go in as little as possible in fear of getting Coronavirus while in a closed space. 

The other person no longer a friend but someone you want to avoid. Some people have been friendly, others not so. Town is deserted, there is an eery silence both at night and in the morning, it is really unnerving, no planes flying. What I find worst is not seeing my friends that live on the other side of town. A stranger came up to me on my essential walk to the supermarket and said he was very depressed and lonely and scared.  I told him to stay strong and if he needs support to call the Samaritans. 

I feel at peace when I am meditating, I do get anxious on and off at times so I cut down my time on social media, I cut down also watching the news.  I think what worries me the most is not Coronavirus (frankly yes it is bad but 17000 people died of the flu alone in England between 2018 -2019) is abuse of power by the police and civil unrest and not be able to access food. 

I have seen several single men doing laps in their sports cars, maybe it's a way for them to destress. A family playing football in the park, such things that used to be normal that under lockdown now are no longer happening.  Also the Coronavirus is highlighting the inequality between people in England, people who are poor and in terrible accommodation sharing facilities with others (not family, strangers) are going to be hit the hardest. The wealthy & the middle classes in their mansions and houses with access to gardens will find it easier to self isolate or go outside less. 

I really hope they can test everybody and find who is immune so we can go back to work and carry the country forward. A country in lockdown is no way of living long term, cooped up at home watching too much tv and eating a lot, the only thing you will get from this is a heart attack.

I find sticking to a schedule really helpful: exercise, have a daily walk, chat to friends online, listening to music, reading, meditating. I just live in the moment. I have been more tuned into nature, animals, and tuned out from news media outlets generally. Enjoying the little things, like the fact that I have a tea and I can make myself a nice cappuccino at home. Or that I had a nice meal, listening to my friends voices on the phone.

I don't have space to paint and that's been challenging.

What I miss most is hugs, going to the gym, my friends at the gym and the trainers, I miss my friends loads. Having a nice coffee outside. I miss the library.  I would love an iPad so at least I could paint digitally but they are so expensive. Before the shops shut down I didn't manage to get a paper cutter, I still can't get one online. Online companies are not shipping non essentials.. People have different ways of coping some people have a lot of energy and they need more exercise.

I am practising social distancing, people have been overall friendly, but it is still strange every time someone comes along on the street. I move away or they move away. Some people are not friendly so I just ignore them. No time to waste with them. I enjoy people's company but I also enjoy sitting in silence in meditation, I don't feel I need to be connected all the time with others thorough video conferencing chats.

Time also has gone weird, I never know any more which day it is, is Monday or Thursday?

Something I have never done before is pulling weights in the middle of the night and practicing martial arts exercise. All the training I did with Tibetan & Chinese monks years ago is actually coming in handy now. I remember  being in the different temples with them, and I feel better, their faces, robes, rigour, peacefulness what I have learned from them gives me hope, it gives me strength.

This is after just one week of the lockdown..

Copyright Mirta Imperatori 2020

My sculptures made of discarded objects found in the river Thames.

I managed to move across London even when we were getting hit by storm Ciara to work on  an art project, I have plenty of determination. I was glad to get back all in one piece though. Central London was half deserted including the underground, which was lovely, while the homeless were sheltering inside the entrance of the tube station. I had to avoid several junkies while I was getting back, poverty has been hitting more people.

During my MA I worked with found objects & photography, recently objects found in the River Thames. I turn them into sculptures, giving them a new meaning and new lease of life.  I was amazed by the wide ranging selection of discarded objects from glass to plastic objects, to tennis balls to baby items, also highlighting the high levels of junk thrown into the river, thinking about what happens to waste, questioning our consumeristic society. How waste retains (especially plastic) or loses some of its structure and the impact of this on our environment, but also how it can be reused putting discarded products into new use. 

My Digital Artwork + I have been selected for the ArtBox Project in Barcelona.

It's all happening at the moment with Brexit and Coronavirus. Just a month ago I finished reading a book about a pandemic..  Instead of focusing on the chaos out there, I have been concentrating on making more artwork, doing positive things in my life that enrich it. My digital artwork has also been selected by ArtBox Project for an exhibition in Barcelona which is exciting, see pic below. 

I am also republishing my digital artwork from 2006-2007.  I find it rather amusing that after 13 years of my digital artwork being online,  now lots of people are interested in it and want to buy it and tell me that I was a pioneer in the field; particularly when considering that I was using what nowadays would be thought of as rather rudimentary equipment to make it.

Olafur Eliasson In real Life at Tate Modern.

I can't believe it's already December, I am looking forward to all the Christmas parties I have been invited to, something to look forward to. At the same time the election is just around the corner and frankly I and many others are sick and tired of it already; the politicians making promises to get votes and than switching as soon as they get in power and the uncertainty of Brexit, but I am not sure the election will bring any clarity, we might get a hang Parliament instead.  I went to my first Christmas party yesterday in  a swanky hotel and I received my first Christmas present, that cheered me up.

Before completing the photography project at Photofusion. I went to  to see the exhibition by Olafur Eliasson (Danish-Icelandic artist) at Tate Modern. The exhibition has 40 + of his works of art dating from the 1990's till nowadays, including installations, sculptures, photography, paintings. These included materials such as: reflective metals, colour gels, moss, water, light and air temperature.  The works I liked best are the installations where you have to use your senses to engage with the work. His installations bring nature, and the elements inside the gallery space, but at the same time he challenges your perspective and how you relate to the environment, by artificially changing things, for example in the room titled 'Beauty 1993'; here droplets of water come down from the ceiling, and depending on the angle you might see a rainbow; the floor was not hard but was made of soft material, also with the use of light, in a darkened room it played with your vision. I was unnerved by the soft floor as it was slightly affecting my balance,  in  a gentle way ( having vertigo obviously does not help), while walking around and at the same time watching the rain falling; but this was actually relaxing and peaceful. I really enjoyed this exhibit and it expanded my field of vision.

Beauty 1993 By Olafur Eliasson photo by Mirta Imperatori

Next to it was a work consisting of a mirror hanging from the ceiling and another convex glass mirror;  you looked into it and it distorted you and gave multiple images see pic. below.

Works by Olafur Eliasson photo by Mirta Imperatori

In the following room unfortunately the work called 'No nights in summer no days in winter 1994' see pic. below, was not functioning, which was disappointing. I think they should have given a discount because there was another work in another room that also was not working that day...

Work by Olafur Eliasson courtesy of olafureliasson.net

Your Blind Passenger by Olafur Eliasson photo courtesy of the Guardian

So I moved forward to 'Your Blind Passenger' above, where I had to wait in a queue before entering the room and I was warned that there would be thick fog and if I felt uncomfortable I should keep going and exit. The passage is 39 metres long and filled with fog, fully experiential and unsettling. The passage is one way only but I turned it int a two way as I stood inside the room and felt  I had totally lost my bearings,  and I didn't know how long or wide it was before entering it, I didn't walk through it like everybody else. There weren't many people, so I just stood inside of it for a while, absorbing the atmosphere. I enjoyed the peacefulness, the subdued colour, but I completely hated the fog, I felt I could not breathe and was losing my sense of direction; this was made worse by my vertigo. It was also the only room where I could not see anybody using their phones which was great. Than instead of going forward, I went back to the entrance, to the surprise of the attendant! I was just glad I did not bump into anybody.

Moss Wall by Olafur Eliasson photo by Mirta Imperatori

Thus I found myself back in the second room, where despite the moss on the wall I could not smell anything, called 'Moss Wall'. I was not sure if the moss on the wall was dried moss or preserved moss, it didn't really specify. The difference is that dried moss can be rehydrated and can come back to life while preserved moss is chemically treated and is no longer live.  I am making this point because it made me think of his other work 'Ice Watch'  which I thought was pretentious, where he brought ice blocks  to melt in front of the Tate. How about  as a joke we use all the ice in our freezers and drop it outside his house in Berlin just to make a point about climate change.

Ice Watch by Olafur Eliasson courtesy of olafureliasson.net

Than I found myself in the middle room which includes most of the photographs he took of the glaciers, his sculptures, watercolours all to do with glaciers. It felt cluttered, it didn't really flow with the rest of the experiential installations in the previous rooms which were really good. Where was the curating in this room? The display of the photographs, close together, all with the same coloured frames didn't make me want to look at them any further.

So I went back to  the room with  the 'Moss Wall 1994' and I saw lying on the floor the work 'Wavemachines 1995', four long squared tubes filled with a yellow liquid fitted with a mini motor that produces tiny waves.

Wavemachines 1995 by Olafur Eliasson photo by Mirta Imperatori

Than someone from my group told me I had missed the candle burning against a circular mirror?? Work called I 'Grew Up in Solitude and Silence 1991'.

Where was it? By than I had moved to 'The Spiral Room 2002' see pic. below, an 8 metre kaleidoscopic long tunnel that plays again with your perception and senses by the way it is constructed, and the reflecting metal distorts your image when you enter it. It's fun like the rest of his kaleidoscopic work. There was controversy with this work because it is accessed by steps with no wheelchair access!  I was also surprised that neither the Tate nor the artist thought to put a VR headset to make the work accessible to disabled people so they could at least experience it in that way.

The Spiral Room 2002 by Olafur Eliasson photo by Mirta Imperatori

Anyway when I entered the work someone behind me lost their footing while taking the endless 

selfies and she landed on the external wall and the whole work shook inside to the concern  of all of us and of the attendant outside!... I was glad to get out of there in one piece. 

The last room contained the work 'Your Uncertain Shadow', by then actually I was not sure anymore in which room I was as I felt so disorientated  and over stimulated by the previous works. In Your Uncertain Shadow  consists of five different colours of light streams projected onto the wall; the viewer steps in front of these beams to create shadows.

Your Uncertain Shadow by Olafur Eliasson photo by Mirta Imperatori

Following this is the expanded studio that gives an example of activities and the atmosphere of the artist's studio in Berlin. I was interested by the project 'Little Sun', a solar light planned by Eliasson for remote communities.

I would say overall the exhibition was an Instagram paradise, people all round me were taking loads of pictures of themselves inside the installations,  even to the point of being annoying. His strongest works are the experiential installations, the playfulness side of them, where he brings outdoor nature inside the gallery space; while I found his climate change work less effective. The juxtaposition of the artificial man-made installations that use energy, doesn't sit well with the climate change works to do with global heating.

My Latest Photography Project & Exhibition at Photofusion in London.

I was selected for a photography project at Photofusion Photography Centre/Gallery in London which was really exciting. First I had to show them my portfolio of photographs, and do an interview to be accepted, which I was. During the project I took urban photographs around the area with cameras I have never used before, both in black & white and in colour, all under time constraint.  The first day of shooting was freezing cold; I was not dressed appropriately and the trains were delayed so I was nervous. I had the commuting problem all during my BA, my MA and now on this project. Basically being the only person commuting from far away, with trains constantly delayed,  and dealing with the bad weather, floods and all, but I did it. I remember my course directors at uni and other students telling me that they were really impressed with my determination to complete the course and do well, despite the long distance commuting.  Anyway I was really happy to be selected for this photography project that culminated in an exhibition.  I spent some time developing black & white photographs in the darkroom & doing some camera-less photography.

Below are a selection of the photos I took on the project.

For part of the project we had to select items that we carry with us that say something about ourselves,  see below a sample of my camera-less photography.

 Below are three of my camera-less photographs that were selected for the exhibition.