Margate Art School Exhibition - part of Margate Pride and My Black and White Photographs of My Experience of the Pandemic.

August so far is going well, I am enjoying the mild temperatures and the daily grey weather, I have been able to get a lot of work done, painting, filming and participating in The Margate School Exhibition Red Flags II - Flags for Queertopias part of Margate Pride. I am really happy that it actually did happen unlike London Pride that was cancelled, which was surprising. I was also included to present  a voice piece, soundscape for Margate Radio as part of the show. So many exhibitions, events have been cancelled this year due to the pandemic, there are a fraction of opportunities as prior to the pandemic, with venues shut for so long. So it was great to participate with others in Margate Pride and show work at the Margate School; below is the link and photographs. The project was to create my own flag for my isolation island, my own Queertopia in the tradition of Pride and to conceptualize the lockdown experienced as an island. My flag is the last one on the right-hand side (see photos below). I have to thank Lo Lo No (Alex Noble) the curator for including me in the project exhibition.

Poster designed by Lo Lo No (Alex Noble)

Red Flags II - Margate School Exhibition

Throughout the pandemic and the lockdowns I managed to take some black and white photographs as a way to keep creative, busy and to show the different stages of the pandemic as a visual record of what was happening. I experimented with different cameras; photos are not taken with the same camera (see photos below).

The first photo below was taken during lockdown; cafe empty, no staff, no customers. This cafe in normal times is teeming with people queuing to get in and get a pastry, coffee and lunch. It was surreal seeing it so empty for month after month.

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2020

In the second photograph below  is a photo booth that was forgotten and left open to use during part of the lockdown, I managed to take a photo of it before  they actually realized it was there and useable. It was completely removed soon after the photo was taken while I was going to do my shopping at the supermarket.

Photo by Mirta imperatori 2020

The photo below was taken during lockdown while I went to buy essentials at the supermarket. An empty shopping centre which is usually busy with people. It was all very strange seeing it so empty, almost apocalyptic.

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2020

During the pandemic because we  were all being told to stay at home, hardly anybody used their cars, so dust accumulated on top of the bonnet of the cars. I took the photo after one of the lockdowns when things where slowly reopening, I don't think they drove the car for a year or more.

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2020

Random acts of kindness by locals leaving herbs, plants or books for people to take with them. Just seeing this small act of kindness cheered me up on my walk. A stranger, someone that was thinking of others, reaching out during these trying times.

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2021

At the local centre I went to volunteer to clear things that had been there for months. Below is a photo of glasses that had stayed wrapped and unused throughout the year.

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2020

In this photo what I found ironic was the juxtaposition of the sign Dreams in contrast to all the signs

on the same door about social distancing which hints at the nightmare we have been stuck in for a while. I have never seen so many signs put on the doors of every shop, library, college, offices, banks, bus stop all repeating the same things, telling you what to do. The Government and their warnings all over town. Prior to the pandemic you hardly heard from the Government, there where no posters anywhere telling you what to do, no televised daily briefings, now the Government suddenly was ever so present in your daily life - something you didn't miss, and you will be left wondering will this ever end?

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2020

After the lockdown finally, when we arrived to the summer and it was declared officially 'Freedom Day' by our great leader Boris. I was allowed to move out of my area for the first time with my friend and we went to the seaside. It was beautiful to see the sea,  the open space and to be able to walk around in a different area, to see people, different shops open and to sit near the beach while having fish and chips with our favourite drinks. It was exhilarating; we both felt emotional, like we were doing it for the first time. We were both glad to be still alive.

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2021

After freedom day I was also able to go and see another musician friend of mine and have a chat and cup of tea and tea cake in her house, in the garden. I took a photo of the hand towels; weirdly I missed them and a beautiful flower. I missed being with my friend and her flowers.

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2021

Photo by Mirta Imperatori 2021

The Importance of Human Contact!

The first week of the Tier 4, time went really slow, it took some time visually to adapt to the shops being closed again; not seeing anybody around. Long term I actually enjoyed it as I found more food inside the supermarket, I didn't have to go at a specific time inside to get what I wanted. I didn't have to worry about people walking too closely as it was so quiet, like I have to now. Sadly, more shops shut for good during lockdown while other shops have adapted as click and collect or take-aways only. In comparison to the first lockdown, there were slightly more people about and it was very busy in the park. It is the first kind of a lockdown in winter and I have noticed that neighbours have disappeared, I have not seen them as much as in the first lockdown. If it wasn't for chatting to my friends online I think I would have felt isolated and the weather has been cold and rainy all day every day, one feels like being stuck inside of tank with no light. To amuse each other the other day, me and my friend started looking at kitchen mittens on Amazon, we were scrolling through pages and pages of kitchen mittens, so I said to my friend via Zoom we are really scraping the barrel here, we spent an hour just finding some kitchen mittens as a present for my other friend, we were laughing and we said to each other: If someone ask me how I survived the pandemic of 2020 I would say by spending hours checking out kitchen mittens, there is an endless selection of them on Amazon! Yes, because generally in a crisis one is told by the government to help others, this time we have been told to do nothing and stay at home, which feels really unnatural to me and I am sure to many others. I would rather be outside volunteering, helping others, even my volunteering has died down, as have all my Christmas parties which have been cancelled.

A couple of days before Christmas, I am happy I have finally been able to see my neighbours outside to have a chat and see how everybody is doing. We exchanged presents so things are looking more positive. Did a round at the supermarket and it was all stocked up so no need to panic buy, frankly as a nation I think we could do with eating less and the supermarkets should be selling smaller portions. Because the Port of Dover was closed over the last couple days, the French Government decided to put a ban on freight coming in. People over here were panicking, things seem to have calmed down and the border has re-opened and it seems we have got a deal, till the next crisis comes along! We seem unable to go out without a crisis at the moment! 

 

I am looking forward to Christmas day, to have a nice meal, opening presents despite all the fearmongering from the government. We have been put in Tier 4 but the rules don’t really apply to the people in Government so a lot of people are just not following the rules, they are fed up. I bumped into a couple of friends by chance in the street, so it was really good to have a chat. The pandemic is reminding me how important human contact is, it can’t be replaced by a session on Zoom, but it is good to keep in touch regularly with people by whatever medium. It is about supporting each other, being there for others. I am grateful to my friends; who have made the last long 9 months more bearable and vice versa. Several people have told me that since being in lockdown and not seeing people enough, they are struggling with talking, so I made a point to call them regularly and to speak to them as long as possible. Lockdowns, tier 4 whatever you want to call it, can give long-term mental health problems, some people can retreat within themselves, which is not healthy.

I am just happy coffee shops are open for take-aways. I support them and local businesses. It’s nice to sit in the park with a good coffee at hand while still seeing people about getting some exercise.

 

Then there has been the saga with the mouse in my flat. I woke up one morning and I found my Christmas presents eaten by a rodent as well as the wrapping paper, the neighbour next door has been complaining about rodents for the past year at least, although we have never had them in my flat. I think what’s been happening is that all the building work in the opposite building has unearthed the land there and is sending mice towards our building. A friend of mine told me that the same thing happened outside her building last year, when they were doing major building work. Anyway, I have bought some electronic ultrasound and it seems the mouse has not been back but as a precaution I have moved most of my paper artwork, photographs I have made into  my friend’s garage. Mice and rats can eat anything! Just the thought of a mouse sending all my artwork to smoke gave me nightmares. This on top the lockdown crisis, the Covid crisis, the Brexit crisis and now the Dover crisis and possibly the food crisis and civil unrest after Christmas … anything else???!! It was a real joy to move most of my stuff just before Christmas!

 

All the while thinking yes that I am in a nice flat in a good area with friendly flatmate, but I am monitoring daily the mice situation on top of the damp situation which has not been fixed properly and it keeps raining... I really don’t know in which realm of Dante’s Hell we are going to be in 2021, I try not to think about it too much, plenty of stirring from the media already. For me, in 2021, I would like to have an art studio where I can focus on painting and wandering around central London like things were before the pandemic.

Covid… Let’s Make It Through To Winter!

The summer flew by … we had a long summer and it is weird to say this but it was good in spite of Corona. I was fine till about a month ago but the fact that I can't go to galleries, museums, restaurants, bars or the gym has had an effect on my mental health somehow. I didn't even realise there was a problem but then I started feeling excluded from many activities that have reopened, especially the gym, so I have been experiencing isolation. Why do I not join in? How am I going to self-isolate with the builders outside that have not stopped working since March with such high noise levels? It would be challenging to say the least to self-isolate in a tiny environment in a shared household. So I have been avoiding the general public as much as possible.

I have recently seen a friend at a distance who I have not seen in six months and I have to admit it was great but nerve wracking at the same time. We were both worrying about standing too close to each other and about where to eat. We were wondering if the ventilation was good enough in the coffee shop. Did they wash the crockery with a dishwasher? Did the waiter wear a mask and gloves? So, in the end we decided not to go in and we just bought a takeaway and a coffee and went to the park. It was a freezing cold, rainy day, we were looking at each other in disbelief, worried, saying how are we going to manage a dark, cold winter without sitting inside coffee shops?! We used to spend the winter inside coffee shops all the time to chat, to work, now we can't! I said to her, I can't go to the gym, and I hate it. Also, the fact that my friend and I were not able to hug and kiss was weird. We gave each other a virtual, distanced hug, we discussed how everybody is confused about regulations given by the Government and is doing a different thing, and how many people feel frustrated that everyone is doing different things. One day the Government says to do one thing, the following day they say the opposite, it's been very unsettling.

Also there have been more crimes and assaults on women lately (a woman got assaulted in an area I walk in normally so it's unnerving), antisocial behaviour and violent crimes have been on the up lately. Last week I went to the park to walk late in the afternoon and there was a huge fight between two large groups of boys, they were screaming and hurling things at each other… I quickly turned back... Another day I went to the supermarket, it was Saturday and there was a boy on top of the roof of the car park who was throwing stones and hitting passers-by. Luckily I saw him so I didn't get hit. Then there are drunken people screaming and running around till the early hours. I bought myself a new set of ear plugs, they are wonderful and really do help reducing the noise outside apart from building work, I mean there is a general air of lunacy at the moment… I am happy painting, reading and listening to music.

This Government of the wealthy, that can travel, they can self-isolate, they live in mansions, they have plenty of space to do what they want, they have not been following the rules that they set up either, they have a set of rules for themselves and another for everybody else, they are out of touch. The Government are going to fine people (the plebs) who don't self-isolate implying that people don't want to self-isolate, which might not really be the case at all. It might be that some people live in multi-occupancy shared spaces and don't have the actual space to self-isolate, live in rooms with no windows, or windows that don't open; or actually several people live in dormitories which makes it impossible for them to self-isolate. This is due to years and years of high rents and some greedy landlords packing as many people as possible in tiny flats or houses to make more money. This is capitalism gone mad. I have seen ads online for a room in a small house that already had ten people, I am thinking, where do they put all these people?! I have seen ads for a tiny room with two or three beds inside, those ads should be banned but they haven't, they are still advertised.

It is an issue that has not been dealt with by successive governments, it's been going on for years and is now coming to bite us back because with so many people in small spaces, Covid will spread more easily. Instead of acknowledging this issue, the Government is not giving the population rules they can manage, they are setting impossible, unworkable standards that some people just can't follow, and then fining them. But then they do nothing about criminals normally or antisocial behaviour, but they are going to go after a random individual if they somehow are at fault with the new rules while real criminals don't care about rules, they use the opportunity to keep doing more of what they are doing. 

In spite of all of this, I have been selected for another photography project in London and my lockdown diary will be part of a show in a Museum here in England. I have also been selected to show my work online in Japan, collectors have been asking me for more paintings so from the creative side I am going forward as normal as possible.

Generally I find solutions and I move forward, but this time I sometimes don't, these are unprecedented times. So I go in days where I’m tense and other days when I can focus more on what I care about.

On Saturday I took the bus and it was more full than normal and I felt very anxious, luckily I was able to get out and get on another less busy bus but I was surprised by my reaction. 

So I am just taking a day at a time. 

It's interesting also how the media has been bombarding us with Covid news and fear of what the Government will do next. It is affecting what we do, causing some people to feel anxious outside. 

What made me laugh the other day on zoom is that one of my friends said he was scared to go back to the office and he would take a sleeping pill to calm his nerves before going in, while my other friend said, I am just drinking myself to sleep on a daily basis. And I said, that’s what it's come to!! While my friend in Paris was panicking that they have not renewed her visa and that she has not spoken to a soul face-to-face in ages and she has put on weight as well. And I said, I’ve got an underactive thyroid in winter, my thyroid is working twice as hard to produce anything even with the medication let alone all this Covid stress! So all of us are affected by this in different ways.

 

 

My Latest Photographs - Art and Sound Installation for Margate Pride 2020.

By walking on the Pilgrims Way I re-discovered the old route, the old way of travelling on foot but not experienced as going towards a sacred place but rather for the walk itself, being outside as sacred, as expression of my own freedom and by going further with no map and getting lost so to experience the surrounding environment in a new way, in a more spontaneous way, which was not possible during lockdown. You can come back to the photo and have a different perspective on it depending whether you are in a lockdown or not. I have been focusing on really looking closely, noting what is generally overlooked and reconnecting with nature.

I was selected to participate in a contributive art and sound installation for Margate Pride 2020.

See also: https://margatepride.org.uk

https://www.facebook.com/themargateschool/

https://margateradio.co.uk/saturday-080820/1pwqt84jl3qi8w6jht0z0q2nf1d8z2

Photos below taken by Alex Noble

My review of the TV series Normal People + Black Lives Matter protests - Social Media.

Things are looking up. I received notification that the gym will be reopening soon for classes. I had to stop painting for a little while, as I could not find some materials but now I have started painting again. I am really happy that my favourite art shop is open again, so I was able to get a couple more canvases and books. What I realised during the lockdown is that I don't really need to shop generally, but I have been happy to see bookshops, art shops, record stores open again. I bought a couple of books this week, it was so exciting to go back to the bookshop and art shop. I am so happy I have been able to see some of my friends, that has made all the difference.

Normal People by Sally Rooney, image courtesy of Pinterest.

To distract myself from the pandemic and the news I re-read the book Normal People by Sally Rooney,  I was looking forward to see how it did get adapted for the TV screen. I have to say they have done a good job, as it's not an easy book to transport on a screen, the language is not difficult but it is written in a minimalist way.

Marianne & Connell, image courtesy of Pinterest

It starts with two main characters Marianne & Connell, who both attend the same high school, but their social backgrounds and families are opposite to each other. Marianne comes from a wealthy background and has no friends, she is studious and not liked by the other kids in school. Connell instead is very popular at school, is popular among his sports club, and his family his working class. Connell's mother is the cleaner in Marianne's house. Their mothers could not be more different, while Connell's mother is warm & grounded, Marianne's mother is an emotional iceberg. Both Marianne and Connell lack a father figure in their life.

Marianne & Connell, start seeing each other in secret, Connell is worried about his reputation among his peers, about seeing Marianne.

Image courtesy of Pinterest.

There is plenty of sex but it's not just about the sex, it is more about them expressing their identity though sex or not, more a journey of self discovery, questioning one's own place in the world, things said and not said which then go and affect the relationship. Questioning with whom one is friends? Is it truly friendship? If your boyfriend or girlfriend has friends you can't stand and vice-versa can the relationship last? Can you survive as a couple if you come from very different social backgrounds? What if your partner is also your only true friend, how does that affect the relationship?

Image courtesy of Pinterest.

Or they just fell into each other  just because they are in the same group at school, even if Marianne is the outsider there. It's also about isolation. In Marianne's case her wealthy family sets her apart from the rest of  group in school. Do the other kids bully her because she is wealthy? Are they envious of her because she is smart? Marianne is strong at answering back in school to her peers but she has no voice at home. Connell is popular on the surface but in the University years he suffers from depression and isolation after the death of a friend. Both Connell & Marianne have low self worth which they need to work through and which manifests itself in different ways. Marianne will be supportive of Connell. There is a reversing of roles when they both go to the same University in Dublin to study. While Marianne in high school was the misunderstood loner, at University she has a group of friends with whom she is comfortable and who are from a similar background, and she is able to open up more and be herself more;  Connell, however, feels lonely and isolated, he fails to make any real connections with other students in Dublin, and deep down he misses his friends from back home with whom he feels more comfortable. He misses the sense of community he was part of in high school but was it real or just apparent? There is a lot about toxic masculinity and being at the receiving end of it but also Connell's vulnerability as a man is shown up.

Image courtesy of Pinterest.

I also found interesting that Marianne's toxic family, the way she is treated at home, expresses itself through her sexuality especially while she is studying at University.

The story shows how they go through misunderstandings and things left unsaid; how in high school they are stuck in their roles of nerd and jock, while at University they evolve but still have issues communicating with each other.  

It's a sensitive portrait about growing up but it is not your average rom-com, it is multilayered, it stays with you, the pain, the confusion, the joy they feel. It made me want to go and visit Dublin, though I did find at times the accents hard to understand but it is beautifully shot with muted colours, lots of close ups like in a still life painting.  From the outside they might look like Normal People but they aren't really, they are both complex characters and that's what makes it good to watch.

Black Lives Matter protests - Social Media.

What a couple of weeks! We had Black Lives Matter protests both here in England and the USA, hopefully bringing positive change. There is a lot of suffering and injustice and a lot of healing that needs to be done, and proper legislation to make people in power more accountable. The lack of jobs for a lot of people pushed some into protest, the media showing division and unrest, it's important during a crisis to look out for each other and to practise self care. Also the the toppling of statues here in England, a pivotal, unprecedented moment. Some people protesting because they mean it, others out of boredom. Shops have reopened, the streets have been busy lately, some people wear masks others do not, it's good that one can choose whether to wear it or not without being told off by strangers. It is obligatory to wear a mask on public transport anyhow, I also wear a mask, now inside of shops because it is more busy. It is still weird that people can go to the shops but not back to the office, or schools. I have seen people just going fast in their cars, just out of boredom.

Some people have been arguing about the lockdown (unlike Brexit where one can agree to disagree), lockdown measures have gone deeper, they affect one's daily life. Some people have lost friends because of the lockdown, due to the fact they didn't follow the lockdown at all, or the opposite they follow it very strictly, so they have been arguing about it and are no longer talking to each other, more disruption to the disruption. Luckily this is not my case but I have heard of others going through this which has been a rather unsettling, isolating and painful experience for some.

Nowadays with social media everything has become over-simplified, people are either good or bad, but actually they can also be both at the same time. Some past figures overgeneralised and over simplified, this has created  a lack of figures one can look up to because everybody gets torn down. The reality is nobody is perfect, nobody can survive this high level of scrutiny & self righteousness of social media, many people have turned into armchair judges.  On social media you are either for or against something, the over simplified way of communicating on it with people you don't know well or at all, and the fact that one can write anonymously, increases antagonistic aggressive behaviour in some. If you don't support a specific cause or protest online you can get criticised for not supporting the cause, which might not be the case. Some people are taking up causes temporarily because it is fashionable, it makes them look good on social media and in a period with no sense of purpose when schools are shut, and a lot of people are out of work, it gives them temporarily a sense of purpose. Social media is a platform for a lot of people that don't have voice on mainstream media to share their thoughts, but with so many people screaming online is there anybody listening any more?

Mirta Imperatori Copyright 2020

My review of Shtisel on Netflix. Israeli drama series. Highly recommended.

I never thought I would get hooked on a drama about an Orthodox Jewish family living in Geula, Jerusalem, but I am; it's totally engrossing, the script, the storylines that deal with common issues people confront, and it gives an insight into their community which one would normally not have. The series follow the lives of  the children of Rabbi Sulem Shtisel, the patriarch of the family, played by Doval'e Glickman and Rabbi of the local Yeshiva. His youngest child is Aki, played by Michael Aloni, my favourite character because he is an aspiring artist who gets constantly put down by his over-bearing religious father. At any opportunity the father belittles him, telling him that he should follow more closely the Torah, not art, and that he should get married. 

Rabbi Shtisel, Aki, Elisheva photo courtesy of Netflix

The father is friends with the matchmaker, who is instructed to find a suitable bride for Aki. He finds a nice young woman of similar age to Aki but Aki is in love with a two times widow and single mother whose child is in Aki's classroom, she is beautiful and her name is Elisheva played by Eyelet Zurer; she wants to escape Jerusalem, her tightly packed neighbourhood, and her past, and she listens to popular music on the Sabbath, so bending the rules. The widow is a complex character who is weighted down by her dead husbands, but she is also rather independent and works in a bank. Aki's father is opposed to his love for the widow, he thinks she is too problematic. Even the widow herself is not sure about going out with Aki because she is older than him.  In a particular scene in her house she removes her wig and shows Aki her grey hair, but he doesn't care. He is a dreamer, an idealist, and throughout the series you hope that he comes out of his father's shadow,  and that he builds a stronger voice for himself, makes more art, and basically that he will be able to stand up to his father and make his own way through art.

Aki has several chance encounters in Jerusalem, with firstly an art dealer who wants him to make pictures for him which he wants to sell with his own name on, which I thought was appalling.

Aki, photo courtesy of Pinterest.

Than there is Giti, played by Neta Riskin, the daughter of Rabbi Sulem Shtisel who is married to Lippe, they have five children. Lippe Weiss, played by Zohar Strauss, goes to Argentina for work but he has some sort of crisis with his religious beliefs and he disappears. Giti Weiss thinks he is gone with another woman but it seems that Lippe see pic below, went rather through an existential crisis with the orthodox way of life in Argentina and just wanted to get away from it all, basically leaving his wife to fend for herself and her children; she is proactive and inventive in ways of getting money for her family.

Giti with her children - photo courtesy of Vertigo Magazine.

Lippe Weiss photo courtesy of Netflix.

Than there is the grandmother played by Hanna Riber in season 1, while in season 2 she is now played by Lea Koening. She has been put in a care home, and gets her first TV in the room; this causes a stir with the son Rabbi Shtisel as she is not supposed to watch TV but read religious books, according to her son. The grandmother really enjoys watching TV, she has one friend inside the care home who is wealthy, swears, and is rather prickly.

Grandmother Season 1 -  photo courtesy of Netflix.

I also liked the teenage character Ruchami played by Shira Hass (who also features in Unorthodox) who is at the receiving end of her father's decision to run away in Argentina and leave his family behind; she has to cope with her mother Giti's inner conflict towards her husband, her duties as a wife, and the good name of the family. Ruchami is strong-willed, and secretly in  love with a very studious boy, but will he be right for her? Is the studious boy capable of running a family in a practical sense? He might be studious but he could be a terrible husband, not providing for his family in the future. Ruchami is trying to find a husband for herself to get away from the problems at home with her parents; she has an idealised view of marriage, she is trying to go for someone the opposite of her father. 

Ruchami with her parents photo courtesy of Pinterest.

We see the third son of the Rabbi Shtisel, Zvi Arye Shtisel and his wife Tovi Shtisel,  how being together all the time, with kids on top, can kill any love all together. They both seem more like functional cohabitants than a happy couple. 

Men and women also sleep in separate beds, there is no nudity, no bad language, it's actually refreshing to see this. Everything is done with gestures, expressions, it's a very sensitive intimate portrait of daily life and daily squabbles with each other. The struggle between secular Israel and the religious orthodox side of it, between personal aspirations and what you are expected to do by your community and your family who follow a prescribed way of life (the Haredi customs); sometimes the two don't reconcile causing inner conflict with the characters which make it really accessible and a joy to watch. Some are also more open to secular lifestyle like Aki going to art galleries, or his friend owning smart phones and playing video games online.

This is also given strength by the flash backs, for example of Giti's meeting Lippe which make the whole story line even more painful to watch. 

There are also light humorous episodes; in one we see Rabbi Shtisel asking a non orthodox woman a lot younger than him to marry him. It is meticulously done, from the dresses they wear, to the beards and the hats. They say a blessing everytime they eat or drink. First time dating between man and woman happens in public hotel lobbies.

It is really a joy to watch. I really hope there will be a third season.

The easing of the lockdown. Write it down & let it go.

I have been painting every day in the last couple of weeks with what I have found available, so a limited range both in terms of paints and canvases, due to most shops being shut and difficulties in getting things online. I am still happy I have been able to make more art. The only shops open are the postoffice/newsagent, a couple of take away shops, supermarkets and the pharmacy. The town has got busier since the lockdown has been eased. I still go and shop in the small supermarket, hardly any queues and they have got most essentials. Now people can meet a friend at a distance while exercising, though the guidelines from the Government have been rather confusing. Several people in the Cabinet had the Coronavirus and have recovered, which is very positive. It's been an up and down couple of weeks, coming out of lockdown and seeing more people has made some people feel more anxious.

I said I was not going to use Zoom but after two months of lockdown, and my friends pestering me with it, I have finally used it and chatted with my friends abroad. I also participated in a zoom afternoon tea, a zoom meditation, a zoom workout & a zoom party! It doesn't replace face to face contact but it is useful to keep in touch. I find focusing on the screen while talking tiresome after a while.

My favourite day is Sunday when there is no building work across the road and it's quiet, it's a real treat, I can sit in the garden in peace. Builders have been working on Saturdays too, so it's been unnerving to see people working inside a house but not being allowed yourself some peace and quite during the lockdown. The sound of chainsaws.... I was thinking what are they building? Log cabins in that mansion?! Maybe they where cutting tiles.. How many bathrooms do they have? It's been going on for weeks, weekends included. 

My neighbour is convinced that the Government is trying to break us down mentally after the lockdown. I am planning to get a pair of noise cancelling headphones as well, my friend sent me some background white noise which I tried it this evening and I love it, I felt so relaxed just listening to a monotonic noisy sound.

The neighbour upstairs, nice guy, bit of an odd ball, keeps the radio on at night,  so to get some sleep can take a while. I have noticed that the noises sound a lot louder and you can get fixed on them. On Sunday when I went for a walk another walker came up to me (still at a distance) saying he was feeling depressed, said that the noises outside were driving him mad (they were doing up his road). I just told him, everything seems louder when you stay in the same small environment for hours and hours, when everything is shut, with no cars or aeroplanes which generally muffle other noises. We both agreed that a lot people in lockdown have been obsessing about things without their normal structure in place. We are stressed in different ways not knowing what is going to happen next, and having little control on our surrounding environment. The walker said he felt better by talking to me, said he had not spoken to anybody in weeks. I thanked him too, a problem shared is an easier problem to deal with.

Some of my friends have been going on and on about the same point, the same person that doesn't meet their expectations on different days. It's like the mind has gone into lockdown, into some weird stuck coping mechanism that repeats itself endlessly. You feel bad about it, you don't want to talk about your particular fixation but you can't help yourself and than you feel better when you find others have been obsessing on something as well. Then you feel you don't want to talk about it anymore but you start again the following day repeating the same exact things. 

Suddenly I find myself worrying about my neighbours' dog. He was sent away, taken by a man in a van,  he was a big loveable dog, lots of energy, maybe he was too large and energetic or was he just sent on holiday? He has not come back. I really liked him.. I wanted to volunteer to take the dog out to help them out but maybe that is not allowed by the Government! So I didn't. I mean some people think dogs are robots that are just there to catch the newspaper and they get rid of pets when it doesn't suit them anymore, when they don't behave as they want.  Pets are not for  just a couple of months but for life.

Some parents with children are enjoying the lockdown and hate the office environments, the politics that goes with it, because they don't have to commute and have more time to spend with their kids. Also people with comfortable homes who have plenty of space to self isolate and work. It just tells you in what an unequal world we live.

I always feel better when I am able to go out for a walk and I am in nature. Today was a beautiful sunny day, the air so clean. It was more crowded outside which felt weird being used to empty roads.

People will think more carefully where they go and live after this lockdown, I think they will go more for houses with space and a garden.  Somewhere comfortable, peaceful where one can self isolate in peace and work from home easily, having said that I am not sure how easy this will be due to the high population density of the UK.  I wonder if more people from London will buy houses in the countryside or near the coast, but most of the jobs are in London and a lot of people commute from far away to get to work; this needs changing so that more people can work from home or commute at staggered times.

Anyway I am grateful for my friendly neighbours in my building. It's still a beautiful sunny evening and I am still painting. My friends, some of whom have been stuck abroad, are all fine and I am grateful that we didn't get Covid19 in the autumn of 2019, and  so we avoided having a full winter of it. My best friend with cancer is better and my neighbours' black cat sits on my shoes with me in the garden, he is more friendly towards me now and he likes to be stroked; because I have been sitting more often in the garden he is getting used to me, we both enjoy each others company now.

It's Sunday I am sitting in the garden with  a cup of tea and a slice of chocolate roulade, naughty, very naughty..

Copyright 2020 Mirta Imperatori