I have been painting every day in the last couple of weeks with what I have found available, so a limited range both in terms of paints and canvases, due to most shops being shut and difficulties in getting things online. I am still happy I have been able to make more art. The only shops open are the postoffice/newsagent, a couple of take away shops, supermarkets and the pharmacy. The town has got busier since the lockdown has been eased. I still go and shop in the small supermarket, hardly any queues and they have got most essentials. Now people can meet a friend at a distance while exercising, though the guidelines from the Government have been rather confusing. Several people in the Cabinet had the Coronavirus and have recovered, which is very positive. It's been an up and down couple of weeks, coming out of lockdown and seeing more people has made some people feel more anxious.
I said I was not going to use Zoom but after two months of lockdown, and my friends pestering me with it, I have finally used it and chatted with my friends abroad. I also participated in a zoom afternoon tea, a zoom meditation, a zoom workout & a zoom party! It doesn't replace face to face contact but it is useful to keep in touch. I find focusing on the screen while talking tiresome after a while.
My favourite day is Sunday when there is no building work across the road and it's quiet, it's a real treat, I can sit in the garden in peace. Builders have been working on Saturdays too, so it's been unnerving to see people working inside a house but not being allowed yourself some peace and quite during the lockdown. The sound of chainsaws.... I was thinking what are they building? Log cabins in that mansion?! Maybe they where cutting tiles.. How many bathrooms do they have? It's been going on for weeks, weekends included.
My neighbour is convinced that the Government is trying to break us down mentally after the lockdown. I am planning to get a pair of noise cancelling headphones as well, my friend sent me some background white noise which I tried it this evening and I love it, I felt so relaxed just listening to a monotonic noisy sound.
The neighbour upstairs, nice guy, bit of an odd ball, keeps the radio on at night, so to get some sleep can take a while. I have noticed that the noises sound a lot louder and you can get fixed on them. On Sunday when I went for a walk another walker came up to me (still at a distance) saying he was feeling depressed, said that the noises outside were driving him mad (they were doing up his road). I just told him, everything seems louder when you stay in the same small environment for hours and hours, when everything is shut, with no cars or aeroplanes which generally muffle other noises. We both agreed that a lot people in lockdown have been obsessing about things without their normal structure in place. We are stressed in different ways not knowing what is going to happen next, and having little control on our surrounding environment. The walker said he felt better by talking to me, said he had not spoken to anybody in weeks. I thanked him too, a problem shared is an easier problem to deal with.
Some of my friends have been going on and on about the same point, the same person that doesn't meet their expectations on different days. It's like the mind has gone into lockdown, into some weird stuck coping mechanism that repeats itself endlessly. You feel bad about it, you don't want to talk about your particular fixation but you can't help yourself and than you feel better when you find others have been obsessing on something as well. Then you feel you don't want to talk about it anymore but you start again the following day repeating the same exact things.
Suddenly I find myself worrying about my neighbours' dog. He was sent away, taken by a man in a van, he was a big loveable dog, lots of energy, maybe he was too large and energetic or was he just sent on holiday? He has not come back. I really liked him.. I wanted to volunteer to take the dog out to help them out but maybe that is not allowed by the Government! So I didn't. I mean some people think dogs are robots that are just there to catch the newspaper and they get rid of pets when it doesn't suit them anymore, when they don't behave as they want. Pets are not for just a couple of months but for life.
Some parents with children are enjoying the lockdown and hate the office environments, the politics that goes with it, because they don't have to commute and have more time to spend with their kids. Also people with comfortable homes who have plenty of space to self isolate and work. It just tells you in what an unequal world we live.
I always feel better when I am able to go out for a walk and I am in nature. Today was a beautiful sunny day, the air so clean. It was more crowded outside which felt weird being used to empty roads.
People will think more carefully where they go and live after this lockdown, I think they will go more for houses with space and a garden. Somewhere comfortable, peaceful where one can self isolate in peace and work from home easily, having said that I am not sure how easy this will be due to the high population density of the UK. I wonder if more people from London will buy houses in the countryside or near the coast, but most of the jobs are in London and a lot of people commute from far away to get to work; this needs changing so that more people can work from home or commute at staggered times.
Anyway I am grateful for my friendly neighbours in my building. It's still a beautiful sunny evening and I am still painting. My friends, some of whom have been stuck abroad, are all fine and I am grateful that we didn't get Covid19 in the autumn of 2019, and so we avoided having a full winter of it. My best friend with cancer is better and my neighbours' black cat sits on my shoes with me in the garden, he is more friendly towards me now and he likes to be stroked; because I have been sitting more often in the garden he is getting used to me, we both enjoy each others company now.
It's Sunday I am sitting in the garden with a cup of tea and a slice of chocolate roulade, naughty, very naughty..
Copyright 2020 Mirta Imperatori
That is great that you have been painting, even with limited resources. It could be that you are using the weird energy of the lockdown to create art. It's also great that you have been using Zoom for a variety of things ... it sounds like you have been adapting to the lockdown even though it is a right pain in the backside.
ReplyDeleteFunny that you turned the awful situation of the builders building into something mildly humorous ("...what are they building? Log cabins in that mountain?"). It must be really tough at times but you are defusing the situation with humour and that can only be a good thing.
A common theme in your blog is that strangers often approach you in the unlikeliest of circumstances. The walker, who had not seen anyone in weeks, found some common ground by talking to you. He would have gone away happier. You also have a connection with animals; the dog who was sent away and the cat who is now more friendly. I laughed at the 'dogs are robots' idea! But underneath you were affected that the lockdown caused this dog to be sent away.
Finally, you reminded me of the importance of social connection, whether it's with neighbours, friends, family and other people. It's clear - as you said in an earlier post - that you don't rely on social media; real-life connections are what you seek.
It’s great to read your blog with its unique blend of offbeat humour mixed with serious issues :)
Enjoyed reading your blog- great that you have been able to start painting again. Please can we see more of your artwork - I wonder if your latest work been influenced by the current situation or whether as you are just creating pictures to distract from all of the 'noise' in every sense.
ReplyDeleteRelatable and interesting read. We seem to be manifesting this lockdown in similar ways. The injected humour along with the creative ways you've described the mundane.I look forward to seeing your creative works as a result.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your comments of support, really appreciated.
ReplyDelete